Ask Nicole: Practical solutions to everyday parenting challenges This month—healthy eating and managing stress

-By Nicole M. Young, MSW

Raising kids is incredibly rewarding—and possibly the hardest job you’ll ever have. Whether you’re a parent, a grandparent or other caregiver of a child or teen, chances are you’ve wished for support and guidance at one time or another. I know I have.

This column was created to provide a forum for sharing parenting questions and suggest practical solutions that strengthen family relationships. This month we’re looking at some common parenting challenges, including how to teach your teen healthy eating habits and how to manage stress. Keep reading to get practical tips and ideas based on the world-renowned Triple P Positive Parenting Program, available to families in Santa Cruz County. If you have a question for next month, please email me at triplep@first5scc.org.

Dear Nicole,

My 14-year old son is growing like crazy and wants to eat all the time. When he’s home, I can make sure he eats healthy food.  But he’s spending more time away from home with friends or playing sports, which means he’s missing family meals and eating junk food. How do I teach him to make smart choices about what he eats, even when I’m not with him?

-Sarah, Aptos

As the mother of a 13-year old eating machine, I can relate. The teen years are a critical time of growth and development, and the eating habits your son develops now will affect his health for many years. Your son is becoming more independent. So he may resist being told what to do. Yet he probably still needs guidance about healthy choices. It’s not unusual for teens to skip meals or eat away from home because of social activities, sports or other afterschool commitments. It doesn’t help that the convenience of fast foods, energy drinks and snacks can be an attractive option for teens on the go.

Here are some tips for helping your son develop healthy eating habits on his own:

·      Talk with him about the importance of eating healthy foods, especially since he’s active in sports. Explain that junk food and energy drinks might taste good, but they won’t provide him with what needs to do well in sports. 

·      Ask your son to make a list of foods he likes and dislikes. Review the list together and identify foods that are healthy and easy for him to eat quickly or take with him on the go. Then, ensure those foods are available, so he always has access to quick, healthy options.

·      Agree together on what junk food he can have and when. It may be unrealistic to expect he will never eat junk food or fast food. Instead, focus on choosing healthier foods more often and only eating junk food occasionally.

·      Aim to have dinner as a family as often as possible, since this provides a great opportunity to connect and model healthy eating habits. Try involving your son in planning and preparing the meal. This will help him learn another skill he will eventually need – how to cook for himself!

Dear Nicole,

The last few months have been fairly stressful because my family recently moved and I have a new job. My kids talk back to me and won’t listen, and then I end up yelling at them a lot. Sometimes I think they push my buttons on purpose to get a reaction out of me.  What can I do? 

--Juan, Watsonville

Dear Juan,

First of all, congratulations on your new job!  Children often test limits when they’re faced with changes and new situations. It’s their way of figuring out how the changes will affect their lives. To help your kids adapt, look for ways to involve them in creating new routines at home. This will not only help your children understand how your new job affects the family’s daily routines, but will make life feel more predictable for all of you.

Also, I hear many parents talk about being tired, stretched too thin and stressed out. One of the best things to do is acknowledge that these feelings are normal and ask for support. It’s also important to take time for yourself and look after your own needs so you are physically and emotionally ready to meet your children’s needs. Whether it’s taking a walk around the block, driving the scenic route home, listening to music or talking with a friend, build in short breaks for yourself so you can recharge and be prepared to meet each day’s challenges and opportunities.